I have to say that the last example made me laugh out loud. “…rivulets of sweat” - it was so funny!
Rivulet of sweat is a pretty common turn of phrase, Idk what to tell you man
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Oh, I liked “rivulets of sweat”! It’s definitely elevated language, signaling that the author is going for a kind of literary erotica, but it’s descriptive and uses assonance well. Now “the forbidden depths of his shorts below” might be going a little too far for me.
All kidding aside, I like Rhubarb’s examples of how descriptions can be used to build character and dramatic conflict, rather than just stopping a story dead in its tracks.
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In this case it not only builds character but sets (what is for me) a very humorous and campy tone. As for “…the dusting of stomach hair that thickened into a wild snarl…” - I would have expected it to thicken into shrubbery or underbrush. 
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