Hey guys. I haven’t posted in a while, and(if nobody minds) I’d like to talk about that.
I started posting stories to GSS a good while ago and was doing so mainly because I have a personal fetish/ fantasy that I really really enjoy that I thought was a little underrepresented. Not just on GSS but everywhere online. Just to catch anyone up so they dont have to read my stories; I like fantasies involving big bellied bearish men being abducted/subdued by alien tentacle monsters and then fucked. Often times the fantasy will involve these men being impregnated with some kind of smaller creature that makes their bellies bigger, and mind controls them into having sex with more men of similar description to spread things around and keep the fantasy going until im… let’s just say “satisfied”.
I was overjoyed to find that there were others that liked my stories and wanted to make more of them, and did for a while, but after a bit I began to hit a bit of a personal wall.
Please understand that this is not meant to be preachy. Im not meaning this as a commentary on the morality of writing tentacle rape or to sweep everyone who writes similar subjects under the same bus. This is specifically just my struggles with the subject matter as I’ve grown. The time that I first personally came to my husband and told him about my fantasies and when I started writing them down and sharing them both happened very close after one another. It was a period of sheer sexual exploration in text form. But I quickly began to overthink and obsess over everything. It became this world in my head with rules, and lore for everything, etc.
I would get too much into my own head about what is morally acceptable involving my stories. A fear began developing based on if someone I knew in my personal life discovered these stories and knew that I wrote them. It terrified me. I know that its all just fantasy, and the things that happen in my stories especially aren’t possible in real life, but I slowly went into a deep emotional downward spiral that’s been happening over the course of the last 4 years.
I think im finally beginning to find my peace with everything, and a lot of it has to do with being able to control how and when others get exposed to my stories. Im not wanting to bring up a deep philosophical conversation about it all, im not asking for help regarding it all. Just wanted to share what I’ve been going through. There’s more to discuss on my end but I just wanted to share this and ask if anyone else struggles in similar ways at times as well?